My dear friend Megan has written letters to her children every month of their lives… This has made a real impact on me, so I let her know that I have decided to implement that idea for my little Mollie.  Here is my attempt at my first letter to my sweet daughter.

I have chosen tonight to write my first monthly letter to you, my love, because I am completely and totally exhausted.  I have admitted for the first time since you were born that I need a break… just a few hours to reset my clock.  I chose today because as exhausted and mentally and emotionally spent as I am, my love for you is as intense as ever.  I am sitting here in my bedroom watching you sleep and my heart is pretty much ready to explode with love.  I never truly understood what unconditional love was until I laid eyes on your for the first time.  When I held you in my arms the first time, I was surprised that I felt pain.  I have loved your daddy with about as intense a love as I knew existed… my love for you is intense in a different way, but definitely more overwhelming. I love to watch you sleep.  I can see you dreaming and your mouth does the cutest little sucking motion. You are my angel.

In your short almost four months of life you have experienced a lot.  We have driven to Atlanta, seen three Luke Bryan shows, flown to Dallas to meet your cousins, driven to Michigan to meet more cousins, visited Interlochen Center for the Arts, experienced the beach for the first time, started daycare, been in a pool and gone to the local lakes.  You have been a busy little beaver.

You are so full of life even at such a young age.  You like to be on the move and part of the action.  You want to always see what is going on.  You already enjoy some learning television… a little guy named Eebee Baby.  You are so fascinated by him and look like you are learning so much.  I have always been nervous about being one of those parents that just sit their kids in front of the tv, but you are so enthralled – I just can’t help it.  When you wake up in the morning you are so vocal and happy – you seem to be trying to tell me all about your dreams.  You smile when you see me, which does my heart good for sure.  You hold your head up so well, have strong neck and back muscles and YOU ARE ALREADY TEETHING.  Against my wishes I have had to give you a little tylenol and you like to chomp on everything from my finger to a cold, damp cloth to soothe your aching gums.  You are a trooper though.  You DO NOT like restaurants right now.  I still take you, and I usually have to get up and leave early.  I am trying to keep up a pace and life that is changing, and you stomach it until you are done, and then we are done You are already such a big girl…

This time is very exhausting and trying… You are awake most of the day and want to be going and doing, but are limited by a lack of mobility. I can only imagine what life will be like when you are actually able to move on your own.  I either have to be holding you or moving you to one of the five stations I have set up for your entertainment and learning.  I sit you in the bumbo to watch Eebee Baby, a playmat to lie on and move and touch all that is hanging from above, a jumpy seat that you can spin around in (though you can’t quite do that on your own yet), the pool outside, and just a towel to lie on the floor and watch the ceiling fans or so you can shove your entire fist in your mouth and try to talk about it at the same time.  I read to you as often as I can when you are quiet.  You LOVE your bathtime and then of course the rest of the time you are nursing or having your diaper changed.  We are very busy, and mommy is very tired right now.  I figure I will be this way for many, many years and every single moment with you is worth it.  I mean look at this sweet face…

We already have such a sweet relationship.  I cherish each moment I have with you my sweet love.  I am the most fortunate woman in the world to have been blessed with such a beautiful, sweet, adorable, lively, active, smart little girl.  I wake up every single morning excited to see what the day holds, what new things you are learning to do, and how much you have grown.  You are my sweet love, my beautiful angel… I love you so very much, and at the end of the day this is what I get to do…

You will be four months old on July 17th and I cannot wait to see what your 5th months holds in store, but I will be back here to write it all down.  Well… I am off to sleep, as you will probably be up in a few minutes to nurse.  I am so honored to have you as my daughter, and every single day will be an adventure for us – I will love every single moment of it… even when it is hard and I am exhausted.  I love you my sweet girl with all that I am.    –Mommy

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