Once I knew we were going to have a c-section I buckled down and prepared myself, but the truth is I was nervous.  Thus far, nothing had quite gone as we had planned and now I was having a c-section which was the very last thing we wanted.  The truth is… the only things I really cared about was the fact that Mollie’s heart had been decelerating, her head was swollen, and  there was a potential of my climbing fever turning into an infection she could contract.  I was all around really scared.

They told me that Ed and I were going to have to be separated for about 15 minutes while they prepped me for surgery, and for Ed to get all dressed up in his c-section appropriate attire.  I didn’t like this, because Ed is my rock.  I needed him at that moment, but I had to remember that the most important thing was for them to get my little girl out of me quickly.  So he gave me a kiss and they wheeled me away.  Once in the room they had to move me onto the surgery table, hang up the big blue curtain, give me more numbing medicine and be prepped enough to let Ed in.  I started to get nervous and asked where Ed was, and they ensured that he would be there before they got started.  This made me laugh because a few minutes later they said “Let’s get started,” but Ed still wasn’t by my side.  I looked at the doc and she said “He is on his way, I promise!”  At that moment…. Ed walked through the door and I settled down a little bit.

Whatever the doctor gave me for the surgery gave me a serious case of the shivers.  I felt like I was having a seizure, I was shaking so hard.  The doc told me that once they wheeled me to recovery they would give me something to chill out the shivers.  I figured that was good news   They began the process and I felt the emotions coming on strong… Would she be okay?  Would her head be alright?  I was feeling overwhelming emotion, and all I wanted was to hear her little cry and hold her in my arms.  They only worked for about 10 minutes and the first thing we heard was “She’s a baldy!”  Since Mollie was unable to talk at birth I figured it was the docs yelling that.  Then we hear one little “WuAh” and I started crying immediately.  She didn’t cry again, and because I couldn’t see her and was behind a big blue curtain, hearing her cry was all I had.  They started cleaning her off and invited Ed over to see her.  I was so sad that I wasn’t able to join him… it had been 5 minutes and I was the only one in the room that had not seen my daughter.  Then I heard her cry again, and I was okay…

Ed was so sweet… he came back to me with pictures and video, so I could see her for myself.  Of course that made me cry even harder, but all I wanted was to lay my eyes on her.  They finally called Ed back and said he could bring her to me while they were sewing me up.  The first time I saw her was the most amazing moment in my entire life.  She was sooo beautiful!

They finished sewing me up and I was so looking forward to being de-shivered and getting to hold her in my arms.  The poor anesthesiologist kept telling me that they were going to take her to the nursery to get shots, her weight and height and I kept saying “No!  She is coming with me to recovery!  I want to nurse her first!”  The docs and nurses were saying that was what was going to happen, but the anesthesiologist was contradicting them saying she was going to the nursery first.  Ed whispered in my ear that she would be in my arms first and that I shouldn’t worry… he told me that guy didn’t know what was happening.  Ed promised me I would be holding her soon!  And I did!!!!  It was amazing – there was no doubt… I was in love.

It was also amazing that my sweet niece Olivia was one of the first people (after me and Ed) to hold Baby Mollie, and she is absolutely a pro at it.

Next up… Adhesive Allergies, the 5-day stay in the hospital and Breastfeeding (which is its own saga).  Stay Tuned!  I am writing as fast as I can

Filed under: Uncategorized